Friday, December 21, 2012

And Then There Were Two

What is it with boys and pants? Or is this phenomenon confined to our home?

My son doesn't have any interest in fashion. He wears whatever I put out for him to wear to school, as long as the pants are the "right pants." Do you know how many pairs of pants he owns that he deems appropriate? Three.

Here's the problem;  his requirements, combined with my requirements, leave us very little to work with. The state of the pants at the end of a school day only exacerbates the problem.

My requirements for school pants:

1. No sweatpants (childhood friends of mine will appreciate the hypocrisy here, as I spent much of high school trying to find loopholes in the school's no-sweatpants policy).

2. No pants with holes in them.

I'd think that wouldn't present too much of a challenge. However....

His requirements:

1. Elastic waistband. He's almost nine years old, so this is a huge challenge in itself. The kid has short legs and, while not overweight, also not a remotely slight build, further restricting the universe of possible pants.

2.  Summer-weight pants. The kid is never cold; he wore shorts through the end of October. Do you know when you can purchase lightweight pants in New England? Not in December, I tell you.

3.  No jeans.

As of this moment, that leaves three pairs of school pants and about eight others in the closet that fail on one of the above criteria. Of the three, one is light khaki. I must have been delusional the day I purchased those.

Recess compounds the problem. I now look forward to rainy days, because it means indoor recess and no grass stains. Compared to most eight-year-old boys, mine is not particularly rough-and-tumble, yet every day presents a new laundry challenge. I'm beginning to think it's some kind of intentional maniacal test of my laundry skills. This week, the light khaki pants had grass stains waist-to-hem (how does he do that?) and pizza grease stains all over both thighs (because what eight-year-old boy would use a napkin?).

All these stains seems to require days of soaking and/or multiple washings before the stains will come out, further limiting the universe of available pants.  Really, the whole thing is becoming a bit exhausting. I'm genuinely excited that school vacation has started, so the kid can just wear sweatpants or pajamas for the next couple weeks.

Update: I just took the light khaki pants out of the washer. All the grass stains and all the grease stains are gone. But there is a hole in one knee. Make that two pair of pants. Sigh.

1 comment:

  1. My son has EXACTLY the same requirements. I strongly recommend LLBean pants - elastic waistband and they come in great colors like olive and dark brown. :)