Friday, May 17, 2013
Bump in the Night
You're lying in bed in the dark when you hear it. An unidentified noise. It's a noise like any other--just the wind, the house settling, an animal outdoors. But once you hear it, your imagination kicks into overdrive and your heart starts to race. Your rational mind knows that it's nothing, but you'll never sleep until you get up, turn on the light, and reassure yourself. Once you know for sure, then you can relax.
A couple weeks ago, I was feeling off--tired all the time and always hungry. I probably was tired because allergies were wreaking havoc with my sinuses and I wasn't sleeping well. I probably was hungry because I always eat constantly when I'm feeling crappy. I joked with a friend that I was like one of the kids--growing and needing extra sleep and more food.
Or...no, it couldn't be that. Reliable precautions have been taken. No way.
I felt better after a couple days and forgot about it.
Then my stomach started feeling funny, and that lasted a few days. It was a very particular kind of funny, something that only happened when I was...no, it couldn't be that. Reliable precautions, remember?
But like the bump in the night, the thought had happened. My imagination kicked into overdrive, and my heart started to race. A hundred what ifs raced through my otherwise rational brain, branching into a thousand undesirable permutations. I wasn't going to rest until I turned on the light, even though I knew my reaction was baseless and irrational.
So I turned the light on my irrational, panicked thoughts and reassured myself with a test, just to be sure. As my rational brain knew under the rising panic, it was nothing. Just a little under the weather. My heart and mind returned to rest.
Ladies, you know what I'm talking about? Been there, done that? Men, I imagine you have no clue.
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I have linked this post at Just Write.
Flotsam of the Mind will be on a brief hiatus next week because I will be traveling. If you miss me, browse some of my past posts. My favorites are listed under the Favorites tab on the blog home page. Be sure to stop in at the Flotsam of the Mind Facebook page for more.